英文已很搞笑翻译却更残暴

吐槽/反馈/建议:我的咸鱼心  爱发电-@wdssmq

1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

开始我直接求上帝赐辆自行车。 后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数。 于是老子偷了一辆然后求上帝宽恕。

2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

我希望能像爷爷那样,安静地在睡梦中死去…… 而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样死法啊!

3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat youwith experience.

你永远不能战胜一个纯SB,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你

4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

直译:在这个世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列。意译a:我真不想伤害你,但你也别逼我。意译b:吾虽不杀伯仁,伯仁由我而死。

6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

a. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫!晚到的老鼠有奶酪!b. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃,早起的虫儿被鸟吃。

7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警察来的快.

8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

XXOO就象打桥牌。 如果对手不好使,自己的手必须好使。

9、 Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

有些人就像 Slinkies (弹簧玩具),没什么实在用处,但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来捣腾去还是很有喜感。

10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是:他们都很有规律地被替换,而且因为同一个理由——脏了!!

11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

战争不能决出正义,但能判出哪方出局。

12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

a. 女人的高潮可能是装出来的。但是男人TMD可以整段感情都是装出来的!b. 女人假装高潮以获取真实的感情;男人假装感情以获取真实的高潮。

13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

我们永远不可能真正的成熟,我们只是学会在众人面前装逼。

14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

男人就两种状态:饿 和 性饥渴。 要是他不硬,就给他个三明治!

15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

光总是比声音跑的快点….这就是为嘛有些SB只有在开口说话之后你才发现他是在装B…

16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

我妈每次对着我骂草泥马的时候都没看出其中笑点。

17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

曾以为我想要的是职业,结果发现我只是想要工资。

18、If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

你要是觉得没人在乎你的死活,那你不妨尝试一下跟你的债主玩躲猫猫~~

19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

XXOO并不是结论而是个问题…爽不爽才是答案…

20、Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头,再告诉你你为什么好不了。

21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a wholebox to start a campfire?

直译:一根火柴能点着整片森林,一盒火柴也生不起个营火,这咋回事!意译:想当年哥戴套都能让人怀孕,看今朝叔竟然去看男科

22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

如果4/5的人在忍受腹泻的痛苦,那剩下1/5咋回事?很享受吗?

23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

直译:知识就是说你知道西红柿是一种水果;智慧就好似不要把它放进水果沙拉里。意译a:知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子,智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进一个篮子。意译b:所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后,但智慧的猫扑告诉你这终还是男女有别~

24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

上帝瞅着咱们呢,大伙好歹喜感点吧!

25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on thesame night.

无论,在任何情况下,永远,不要在一个夜晚,同时吃,安眠药,和通便灵。

26、I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端,不是为了成为一个素食者。

27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

公车站呀公车停。火车站呀火车停。俺桌上有个工作站…

28、If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

要是我听你的,咱俩就都2B了。

29、 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

海豚可聪明了你知道不?只要驯养几个星期,它们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。

30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

a. 下棋,我不行;玩跆拳道,电脑不行!b. 下象棋电脑把我玩得团团转,拳击我能把机箱踹得七零八散!

31、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”

瞅见个姐姐,胸前衣服上写着“Guess”…俺就问了一句:“…隆过?”

32、 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walkand talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

孩子就是:你先花2年,教丫们走路和说话。然后你再花16年教丫们坐定和闭嘴。

33、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

为什么当你说天上有400亿星星时他不怀疑,却偏要检查你所说的“油漆未干”?

34、Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

a. 宁愿闭嘴当傻瓜,也别学乌鸦乱呱呱。b. 越解释越SB,不说话最NB。c. 剽悍的人生不需要解释d. 猫扑里德话说就是:宁可闭口被人当SB,也不张口解释所有疑。

35、A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

银行就是当你证明了你不需要钱的时候可以借钱给你的地方

36、Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

a.对你的问题哈哈大笑吧,别人都在这么做。b. 你有什么不开心的?说出来给大家开心开心。

37、The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!a.

我知道没人在我脑子里跟我聊天,但那些话真TM有用!意译:我幻想的低吟不一定是真的,但足够让我意淫

38、A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

a. 无愧于心哈?记性不好吧?意译b: 自从那次在人妖身边醒来,每次去夜店我都提醒自己“一定要戴眼镜……”c. 意识清醒了,意味着不堪回首了。

39、Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

a. 所谓的好姑娘,咳!就是还没被群众抓到的JP女—–b. 想立牌坊就得会装

40、He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

临危忽然微笑的那谁,定是找到替罪羊鸟~

41、 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street witha bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

如果女人能做到以秃顶和啤酒肚在大街上晃还觉得自己倍儿性感——此时估计男女能平等。

42、The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

小腿上的骨头——在黑房间里找准家具位置的好装备。

43、The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

圣诞老人当然美,他知道所有YD妞住哪儿啊!

44、To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

剽窃一个人的叫剽窃,剽窃许多人的叫研究。意译:窃钩者诛,窃国者为诸侯。

45、Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

有些人一来大家就开心了;有些人一走大家就开心了。.

46、 I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

我发现,我滴脚丫被一小片儿海藻擦过时,我滴那个惨叫声——和我被大白鲨吓坏时的惨叫声是一样滴。

47、Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

直译:你若是挤满人的电梯里的小矮人,肯定能嗅出不同的味儿。意译:灵感来自于所站的角度与众不同。

48、I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

我可没怨你!我是在谴责你!

49、 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?

当我填表的时候,有一项是“紧急情况联系:” 我填上了“医生”,到时候我妈能帮上什么忙?!

50、God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

上帝一定倍儿爱SB,不然他造这么多!!!!!!!


爱发电

本文标题:《英文已很搞笑翻译却更残暴》作者:沉冰浮水
原文链接:https://www.wdssmq.com/post/YingWenYiHenGaoXiaoFanYiQueGengCanBao.html
特别注明外均为原创,转载请注明。

分享到微信

扫描二维码

可在微信查看或分享至朋友圈。

相关文章

雅岚 雅岚 发布于 2011-01-09 16:55:48  
#cmt2999
33,应该是40亿哈。。[F]Haha[/F]
回复
雅岚 雅岚 发布于 2011-01-09 16:53:45  
#cmt2998
[F]Hehe[/F]37,意译真强。。。
回复
囧啊囧 囧啊囧 发布于 2011-01-09 16:03:21  
#cmt2997
能翻译也比我牛,我都看不懂
回复
发表评论:

◎欢迎参与讨论,请在这里发表您的看法、交流您的观点。

网站分类

  • 订阅本站的 RSS 2.0 新闻聚合

搜索

本周旧文

nuc 四个口插硬盘都识别不到,有亮灯。。最后试出别插到底。。

绿联的硬盘盒。。另外一个联想的没问题。。

近期观影记录:超级马里奥,死侍与金刚狼。。

搬家也告一段落,虽然搬过来的东西还得归置,新衣柜虽说已经散俩月味儿了,但还是不想放衣服进去。

要不我每年汇总整理一次??碎雨集_沉冰浮水_第1页

所以,不带这条的话,2024 年目前只发了 13 条嘟????

VSCode 内 git 操作卡住的时候没办法主动取消一直是个痛点,一般都是推送或拉取,今天连提交都卡了。。

又一个夏天过去了,所以今年也没买防水鞋套;然后天凉了,为了应对踢被子买了睡袋,不知道 1.2 米会不会略窄。。

《五至七时的克莱奥》,2018 年 6 月加入列表,21 年 11 月底发现 B 站上线了这部,直到前几天才看完,还是分两次看的。。接下来有五项是 2019 年的,都是电影 —— 略长的待办列表。。

有用程序自动抓取自己带 tag 的嘟,然后按年备份后从线上删除;刚发现去年的数据有备份但是没删线上??和本地数据对比后发现线上的还少一条,Why??

本质上,每个人需要的是「让自己面临的问题得到解决」的能力。。

这又涉及到直接能力和间接能力,,缺乏直接能力很正常,视情况可以通过学习来掌握直接能力,或者「请」有直接能力的人来帮自己解决。。

缺乏间接能力的情况是真没救,尤其是对「这是**我自己**面临的问题」这一前提没有明确认知的人。。

爱发电支持者

最新留言

友情链接